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Jan. 16th, 2008 @ 03:52 pm stupid stupid
it seems every day this past week I've done something stupid. stupid stupid stupid. why? why do all of a girls problems have to do with men? I don't understand. Sometimes I think i would be happier if there was no man at all in my life. Then I could concentrate on me. I know when I stop worrying about how other people think or feel about me then I can finally be the person I am meant to be and not be influenced by their opinions or how I think they feel.
Good thing of the day? I got my Wii!
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Dec. 10th, 2007 @ 09:24 pm whateve
I finished my first year of grad school today. I finished and turned in my last assignment for the semester. Only 5 more classes left before I'm done. with. college. forever. Well, not forever, my ultimate goal is to get my PhD and teach at the college level, but thats not for awhile, like 5 years. Sometimes I feel like my life is on track, then other times I feel like I'm in limbo. Like right now. I feel like I'm a fork in the road of life. One way leads, well one way; and the other another. I hate picking between things, between people, or even making choices. I'm bad about expressing my feelings with people. I rarely get mad, I'm laid back; as many of my friends can attest to. But I feel like I'm standing at a standstill and will remain here until I chose which way to follow. One may lead to happiness and the other to, well...I don't know. Or, maybe they both lead to happiness eventually. I don't know. All I can do is pray that I make the best decision for me, and follow through with it. I read a book the other day that said msot people don't find happiness because they look back to often and think, "if I had made the other choice I'd be happier then I am now." I don't want to be one of those people who always look back. I'd tear off my rear view mirror and look forward only, always. Never regretting anything. Everything you've done in that past, no matter how much you regret it, was exactly what you wanted at one time. No on can talk you into something, unless there is a teensy part of you that secretly wants it.
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Oct. 10th, 2007 @ 03:57 pm mmhmm
my moms birthday is this weekend. my parents decided to come to Salisbury instead of me and sara driving home. I'm glad. We are going to OC since my grandma has never been there.
Tonight is the wednesday night dinner date with leah. She's cooking Manicotti tonight. I msut say I am excited. Not much else is going on, my life is sorta boring right now. I don't do much besides go to class, work, and sleep. Seriously. I did decide I'd like to find a boyfriend, which is most likely not going to happen. There is is this guy I like, but right now it won't happen with him. or at least, there is an extremely thin chance. Oh well. I'll get over it. I always do.
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Oct. 8th, 2007 @ 09:51 pm random thoughts
I never use this, I want to get back into the habit of writting my thoughts down, and I actually have time for it now. I quit my job at C5 and I'm now working in an elementary school! I work as a 5th grade Reading and Math intervention teacher. I work msotly in reading with one particular teacher whom I abolsutely love working with, which makes the job fun! I onyl work 15 hours a week, btu I make the same as when i worked at C5 working 40 hours a week. This degree is finaly paying off. Next year it should lead to a full-time position with my own room and class also.
Everything had been crazy lately. Since I last posted I've been to Las Vegas, which I fell in love with and New York City which is fun! I am seriously considering moving to Las Vegas in the next 5 years, s unless something drastic happens it will probably happen, I simply adore that city and the area.
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Jun. 7th, 2007 @ 09:08 pm random
I never post in this, i find i still have no alot of time. My goal this summer is to get, and stay in decent shape. I know, some people are like what? But seriously, I really need to. sara has been going to the gym with me regularly the past 2 weeks and I love it! It's great!
I am going to atlantic city tomorrow with kristina, which promises to be an adventure.
We are also planning our vacation to vegas in August with May! I am so excited I cannot even explain. I have never been IN vegas and we plan on going to a strip club or something! Wooo
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Mar. 3rd, 2007 @ 03:04 pm updates
Sara finally turned 21 this week. I have been out the past 3 nights in a row, and most likely tonight. Either Barrel or brew. Brew is havign a playboy party, two of the playmates are going to be there...so we shall see. Dunno yet.
School is crunchign down. I have a 10 pages paper to write thats due in two weeks, but I will be in Chicago next weekend and I know I won't do it then. I have to do it tomorrow! AGH.
I'm in a weird mood today. I knwo why, but its personal...blah for this weirdness.
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Feb. 4th, 2007 @ 09:40 pm bahhhh
i hate Sundays because the next day is Monday which means the weekly cycle begins again. I am going to hate life this semester. I'm think grad school was a mistake, but I am going to do it and I am going to kick-ass regardless with a 4.0. I don't care if I have to work my ass off and have no life, I WILL do this.
It's been an interesting weekend thus far. Went out Thursday to MB with Mel, I had a blast. I love her so much. Friday night it was Bottle w/ Ben, Oscar, Vicky, and May. I got much drunker then I thought. Found out stuff that happened the next day i have no recollection of, nothing bad, but I didn't think i was that drunk..apparently rum and coke can fuck you up pretty fast. Oh well. Saturday had a horrible hangover, was supposed to go to Seacrets with May but I didn't feel like driving out there by myself, so I went to Cherry's with Sara and Jesse for a bit, stayed sober all night. The drunk kid we didn't know who tried to talk to us was pretty funny though. Then today haven't done a damn thing. Went to Crystals for superbowl party, but I was bored so I left. I was the only one watching the game at one point, and if I was gonna watch it by myself might as well watch at home with the dogs and give them soem freedom.
Do you ever have one person on your mind alot? Someone yuou just can't get out of your mind despite your best attempts. I am plagued by this. I am going through withdrawl. I don't want a boyfriend, but I love kissing. Ha. That sounds weird. It's been well over a month since I even kissed a guy. Then there is this guy, who I like, alot. Well, there is actually more then one guy I like right now. Boys suck and I need to stay away from them, they only bring trouble and that is something I don't need this semester, but I can't help it.
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Jan. 28th, 2007 @ 05:32 pm why you suck
i have decided boys suck. seriously. most guys i know are cold-hearted bastards who are only after one thing from girls. i said most not all. but then there are the guys who aren't, but you aren't interested in them. most, not all, of the guys i have dated have fucked me over one way or another. i don't really talk to any of the guys i've dated; not that its alot. i don't need a guy to be happy but they are nice to have around and for other things. bah. i wish it was a year from now and I could be preparing to move out of maryland for good. there is nothing here for me anymore. not a damn thing. if you don't know i am moving to NC most likely next summer, summer 2008 that is with Crystal. I cannot wait. we are going to find ourselves some nice southern boys who know how to treat a girl; meaning they call you bring you flowers treat you right. I think i am a good girlfriend, for the most part. and you know what else i decided? no guy is ever going to come before my friends ever again. i missed so much the past few years because i did put a guy before my friends and it sucks now. boys suck.
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Jan. 26th, 2007 @ 01:31 pm excitment builds
Current Mood: tiredtired
i cannot wait for tonight. i am going to gettysburg to see Natalie!!! She's celebrating her 22nd birthday. I haven't seen her since July. Muy excited. Today has been fun. (thats sarcasm) one of my kids who has a severe allergy to peanuts had a reaction today, but he wasn't near any peanuts. We had to give him an epi-pen; if you dont know what that is, its basicaly stabbign him in the leg with a needle and holding it there for 10 seconds. It took 3 people to hold him down, eh's only 5. Poor thing, then he had to go to the ER in an ambulance with Leah. I got to stay with the rest of the class while this was going on, but I noticed his swelling and stuff. I feel so bad for him, he is such a good kid too.
But at least it is Friday and the weekend hopefully will be better then last. Probably coming back to the Bury saturday, but not 100% sure yet, it depends!
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Jan. 22nd, 2007 @ 11:54 am weekend from hell
so this has basicaly been the weekend from hell. It started off great/ Friday night I went to Bottle with Mel and Tracy and had an absolute blast. I am going to miss Tracy so much when she heads to the VI. We stayed out till close then i drove the girls home and went to sleep myself. Fast forward to Saturday night. We had a going away party for Tracy and Danielle, and it ended up being about someone else who got so completely trashed and violent we had to call the cops on her. she said hateful things and threatened to OD and kill herself. I didn't get home till almsot 4am and it didn't end there. It went into the next day, but I wash my hands of the situation. Why do people drink that much? No guy is worth doing that to yourself. I dated Alex for 2 years and NEVER did that to myself. I couldn't see myself getting that drunk and ridiciulus over him. The best part? She doesn't think it was "that bad."
But Sunday was good, kind of. Watched the playoffs at Crystals. Sad the Saints lost so horribly and the Patriots! But its OK as long as the Colts beat the Bears in the Superbowl. Since the Colts made it it will be fun watching it with Crystal.
then I wake up this morning with Pink Eye! And its horrible and disgusting. My eye looks nasty and is pussy and shit. AGH. And since I work at a daycare I didn't go to work. BOOO
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